Don' know much about den-tis-try...

I've got the Sunday night panic/blues. You familiar? That sigh-inducing dread starting around 3 pm on Sunday afternoon of what's to come in a particularly daunting work or school week that basically negates the fun or relaxation of the entire past weekend? Yeah, that's the one.

I think my summer may even be full of dread/panics--Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, and so on--in addition to the standard Sunday due to the uncomfortable position I now find myself in: abruptly outta the nest. Clinic started last week and chaos ensued. Sure, I feel fine doing cleanings and simple restorative work (filling cavities) because I've been doing those on patients for a while; now the denture, root canal, and bridge and crown work flood gates have been opened and the the only patient I've worked on for those procedures is this guy:



Basically, the next few months will be pretty darn uncomfortable for me as I try to find my rhythm not only with relatively unfamiliar procedures but also new paperwork, faculty, and SOP's up in the clinic. That and being completely responsible for contacting, scheduling, and rescheduling my personal pool of 24 (and growing!) patients has got me stressed to the max. I'm not quite sure why I envisioned life immediately following boards to comprise canoe trips, beach houses, and amusement parks.

*sigh. In actuality, I'm just being dramatic. Sure, I'm stressed and nervous and feel pretty incompetent right now. But, I do realize that the learning curve is very steep this summer and hope that I'll be somewhat hitting my stride come fall. I also couldn't be happier with my decision to take boards before all of this you-know-what hit the fan. Watching some of my classmates trying to deal with this paradigm shift in addition to studying for boards just breaks my heart. And in all honesty, I did sit by the pool and get a pedicure last week and volunteer at the Special Olympics Summer Games this weekend. It's hard for anyone (and especially a control freak like yours truly) to simply accept feeling out of control and vulnerable for an extended period of time. Of course I wish the ridiculously uncomfortable phase lasted only two weeks instead of two months (and hopefully not two years!) but I'm trying to make peace with it and just bite the bullet. After all, it's the only way I'm going to learn. Not to mention I did feel similarly overwhelmed and scared a month and a half ago for boards and I'm happily on the other side of that. I'm sure I'll be calmly reflecting back on this June's panic in no time.

Then again, I'm still fighting off heart palpitations as I nervously peer into the mailbox every afternoon for my boards scores.

Oh well.

Happy Monday!

xoxox